“To love is not to look out for one and then the other, but is to look and work in the same direction.” – Cameroonian proverb
Another season begins and I feel that some things are meant to be, and some are meant NOT to be. The direction I was heading with Casey, even just living with him, was not the direction I wanted my life to go in. I am disappointed with myself for not having realized that earlier, for ignoring the signs and red flags that would later destroy my happiness. In the words of my friend Jessica Jackson, “You allow people to treat you the way that they do. If you don’t like it, get away from it”. These words are forever engraved in my mind. I won’t go into the details here, but we will just say that the relationship was unhealthy. I have questioned and questioned relationships, trying to figure out what they ought to be (and still am researching), and while I obviously don’t know all the answers, what I have learned from this experience is this: It’s all about how you feel. If you don’t feel good with the person you’re with, it doesn’t matter what logic or twisting of perspective you rationalize with – you’re selling yourself short, and are not getting what you deserve. You deserve to be happy.
We just moved into my new apartment, Amie and I. Oh yes, I have a puppy.